i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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