I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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