she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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