i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
