Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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