my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
