Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
