he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
