It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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