ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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