I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
bring money and cleavage
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
