At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
