Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there was a trapeze. enough said
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
