He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
