wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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