Is it normal to miss your booty call?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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