I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
