to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
