So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
