Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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