He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
