I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize