You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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