It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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