whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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