he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
