so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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