I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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