let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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