eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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