Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
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Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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