White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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