idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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