I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
this is an emotional support booty call
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
