Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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