So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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