True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
