Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
send nudes
from the living room?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize