I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
