That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
