my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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