why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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