was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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