Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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