just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
