3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
