No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize