hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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