we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
