Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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