we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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