tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
