You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
