Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
