we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
