i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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