HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
