I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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