absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
