is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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