A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
