I wanna bring you to show and tell
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
