are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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