I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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