Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
