your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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