Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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