spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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