Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
