If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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