In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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