So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
