Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
