i think my mom watched the whole time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
