You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
